Monday, March 31, 2014

Throwing Boy Pussy: Ratchetness and Respectability In Black Gay Men

Chile....if you haven't been up on thangs, then get it ready, get it ready, get it ready baby! For the last week, give or take a day, "Throw That Boy Pussy," the first single from rapper Fly Young Red's "Pretty Boy Realness Mixtape," has had the Internet goin' nuts, not only because of its subject matter, but because of the non-stop parade of jiggling male backside.

Pull up the clip on Youtube and you'll be greeted by a litany of related reaction videos; it even became a hot topic on the Black Atheists page I frequently peruse on Facebook. Unfortunately, homophobia reared its ugly head in the comments section in both forums, the former moreso. Of course, many of the same idiots who are spewing hate and ignorance likely have zero problem with million or so other videos by straight rappers that feature the same visuals with one exception: women are making clap instead of men.

For better or worse, all those bouncing booty butt cheeks are the reason why the song has gotten so much attention. What do I think of the whole brouhaha? Honestly, I'm a little conflicted. Not about "Throw That Boy Pussy's" musical merits mind you; the track is no different than 90 to 95 percent of the other twerk-it-pop-it-dip-it-drop-it-wear-your-backbone-down-to-nub--don't-stop-it booty rap blaring from a speaker at your local hole in the wall, while the video is barely a notch or two above the skin-fests that used to air on BET Uncut. However, with all the buzz it's generating, it's bound to have an impact on people's perception of us as black gay men.

Part of me thinks "Yes. Spit that shit. Rap about busting asses out and eating it up like M&M's. Throw that shit in their face!" Meanwhile, the other, less ratchet side of me thinks "Ugh, people are gonna watch this mess and think that's ALL that we are." I've seen this point of view echoed  by other black gay men on the aforementioned Facebook forum, and while I agree in principle, I can't fully co-sign.

I'm not a big believer in respectability politics. Yes, we as individuals need to make good decisions and be accountable for ourselves, the choices we make, and the things we put out into the world. However, if someone has it in their heart to hate us simply because we are LGBT or black (or both), it doesn't matter if we're as "hood" as Fly Young Red or as accomplished as Keith Boykin. It does not matter how butch we act or how degrees we earn, how many "know what I'm sayins" or "sup's" we drop into conversation, or how many times we pitch and don't catch, get dome and don't give dome: homophobes are gonna be homophobes.

Instead of worrying about how this will make us look to straight folks, fretting over whether this the "right" kind of gayness, the better course of action is creating more images of ourselves--writing our own stories, making our own music, shooting our own movies, or simply coming out to those we care about--so that this image is only one of many. 'Cause like it, love it or eh it, "Throw That Boy Pussy," or other videos of its ilk aren't going away.

For every woman who thinks GIRLS is telling her life story or the Real Housewives franchise is just entertainment, there's another who thinks both are an embarrassment to womanhood and feminism. For every black person holding a funeral for the N word, there's another claiming to take ownership of a harmful word or uttering it like they have Tourette's.

Other groups have to deal with the ratchet and respectable, and like most things in life, rarely come to a solid consensus on which is which. Why should we be exempt?

Watch the video below.

Monday Man Candy

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Mama Said Knock You Out

Head over to to check out my latest Scandal recap, entitled (you guessed it) "Mama Said Knock You Out." Alas, while there weren't any appearances by a shirtless, lip-licking LL, there was plenty of drama to get tongue's a-wagging, not least of which was Mellie and Andrew being found out and the ensuing fallout:

"Oh Mellie. Mellie, Mellie, Mellie. When it comes to adultery, you ain’t bout that life. Say what you want about Liv and Fitz, but on the whole—minus that whole making out in front an Oval Office window business a few episodes back—they’re a helluva lot more discreet than giving blow jobs behind unlocked doors in the middle of the day. I know it’s been eons since you got some, but that’s no excuse for sloppiness. And trying to pull a Don Draper on Karen when she clearly saw you “at work” with Uncle Andrew? Girl get it together!"

"...This leads to Fitz and Mellie engaging in what may stand as one of their most devastating fights, because it comes so close to hitting at the core of what has laid waste to their marriage: Mellie’s rape. There’s Fitz, roaring about how he believed her when she said having a baby killed her sex drive—though considering the circumstances of her pregnancy, I’d bet there’s a lot of truth to that—how he berated himself for being a monster for cheating.  

He screams at her over and over again, asking what she gave up, and you see Mellie about to crack, about to blurt out a truth that could both devastate her husband and family yet start the process of healing them. But just as she’s on the verge of breaking Olivia walks in, and Mellie takes off to the next room. The two smooth things over enough to do an all-important TV interview, but until Mellie can bring herself to tell her husband just what she’s given up, these two will continue on the same miserable path they’ve been on."

Read the rest HERE.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Franklin Graham: Gays 'Recruit' Children Through Adoption

Lawd, more foolishness from the Graham clan. After going on record in support of Russian president Vladimir Putin's anti-gay policies, Franklin Graham, son of Billy Graham, has taken out time to hack up more word vomit, claiming his love towards LGBT folks compels him to inform us we're bound for hell in the afterlife.

“I love people enough and care enough,” the 61-year-old Christian evangelist said, “to warn them … that if they chose to continue to live in sin, God is going to judge them one day and they’ll be separated from him for eternity in hell.”

Graham also elaborated on his comments about gay couples adopting children.

They can recruit,” he said. “You can adopt a child into a marriage, but you can also recruit children into your cause. I believe in protecting children from exploitation — all exploitations. I agree with Putin. I think protecting his nation’s children was probably a pretty smart thing to do.”

Watch this mess below.

NFL Team Owners Ready To Recruit Gay Player

Well this is very productive. Several NFL coaches and owners have they are open to to recruiting an openly gay player, after meetings with openly gay ex-NFL player and You Can Play executive director Wade Davis.

Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, said his team would welcome an openly gay player, while John Fox of the Denver Broncos praised Davis' presentation as "one of the best he had ever seen," at the annual owners meeting. Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank said "I think the most important thing is that it is a matter of respect." 

Davis' presentations, which cover such topics as debunking stereotypes about gay athletes and how teams can create an inclusive atmosphere, take on even more weight given openly gay University of Missouri star Michael Sam faces a strong chance of being drafted, along the issues of harassment raised by the Miami Dolphins Johnathan Martin and Richie Incognito.

Davis says coaches have been receptive and "want to learn. They wanted me to tell them how to manage this and how they can make sure players will feel safe enough to be out in the locker room," he told Outsports.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Thoughts About The New 'X-Men Days of Future Past' Trailer


So the latest trailer for X-Men Days of Future Past has been rolled out for the masses. A few thoughts:
  1. Bringing two generations of X-Men together appears to be paying off, judging from tense, emotional clips shown between young and old Professor X, or Magneto expressing regret over a lifetime battling his former friend. Having all this history to draw from can give the franchise a good shot in the arm narrative-wise.
  2. Extending the first thought, it looks like Magneto and Professor X will be the only ones to interact with their younger selves. It'd be great to see Beast or Mystique (Cyclops and Jean appear to be sitting this one out) or even Storm meet their youthful doppelgangers. Of course, it's only a trailer, so we may see more of these pair offs.
  3. Speaking of Storm, she may be heading off into that good night courtesy of some nether realm-looking nightmare creature. I know some folks who've never been here for Halle Berry's portrayal of Storm that are probably cheering right now. I personally never had that much of problem with it, though IMO Angela Bassett or Khandi Alexander could bring more of the powerful, regal dimension to the character.
  4. It looks the Sentinels will be making their debut this time around
  5. Hugh Jackman and Michael Fassbender are looking delicious as usual.
  6. Is anyone else ready to get their life to the awesome/awesomely bad 70's fashions on the display?
Watch the trailer below.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Like A Prayer Turns 25

Madonna classic LP from turned 25 today. What's your favorite track from the album? If you've haven't heard the whole album, take a listen below and decide. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Fred Phelps Dead At 84

Fred Phelps, leader of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, has died, according to son Timothy Phelps, who confirmed his father passed away before midnight on Wednesday. Another son, Nate Phelps, who had long been estranged from his father, said he'd been excommunicated from the church last year. There will be no funeral.

We all know what this man was about, so there's no need to sugarcoat it: Fred Phelps and company did abhorrent, horrible things--attacking the families of dead soldiers, making one of the most painful moments of their lives even worse--and spewed nothing but bigotry. In my opinion, Phelps wasted much if not all of his existence on Earth creating chaos and division, clinging to the sad, self-righteous belief he was doing the world a favor by throwing up the bile he and his twisted flock called "the truth."

However, the ironic/perverse silver lining to his despicable antics could be the fact they forced so many who may have been unsure or on the fence to confront their own feelings about homosexuality--or religion for that matter. And judging from the way the culture continues to shift to a more welcoming atmosphere for LGBT folks, it's pretty clear many fell to our side. Or at the very least, made those who have a "love the sinner, hate the sin" attitude, insipid as it is, pause for a minute, and if not necessarily change their beliefs, tone their rhetoric down. Social pressure is a helluva drug, and being hit with a face full of hate, made many people, Christian or not, recoil and examine themselves, if only for the desire to "not be like that guy."

Though I don't believe in heaven, hell, god's judgment or mercy and all that jazz, I still feel uncomfortable celebrating or cheering another human being's death. But I ain't shedding any tears either.

Mad Men Season 7 Trailer Unveiled

Bring out the cigarettes and cocktails, 'cause Mad Men is back for it's *sniff* final season. Check out the trailer--which, true to form, looks fabulous and reveals nothing--below.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

WATCH: Father Arrested In Deaths of Texas Lesbian Couple

Lupita Nyong'o In Talks To Play Lead In 'Star Wars:Episode VII'

Lupita Nyong'o may be in the running to play the female lead in Star Wars: Episode VII. The Oscar-winning actress is said to have met with J.J. Abrams just before the Academy Awards, where she took home best supporting actress for 12 Years A Slave.

Though it can't be confirmed, Lupita may be in talks to play a descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Hmmm, between her and Adam Driver playing a villain, I might be here for this. Key word being might, giving the last trilogy's track record.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Judge Rules Homeless LGBT Youth Can Keep Living in Sewers

A Kingston, Jamaica judge ruled this week homeless young people, many of which have been kicked out of their homes for being LGBT, can continue to stay in sewers in the city--places they had to move to after they were forced to leave abandoned buildings where they previously lived.

Believe or not, this is progress. Last week, Kingston police tried to chase the youth out of gullies where they set up makeshift beds and rooms, but several of the resisted, swearing at the officers and saying there was no other place for them to go. Dwayne's House, an organization that provides much-needed support for the country's LGBT youth, reportedly paid fines for those found guilty by a judge for swearing.

Dwayne's House, named after a slain transgender teen, also reports that many young LGBT people in Jamiaca are beaten, harassed, or killed, while those who manage to survive do so by turning to sex work. Watch a video from activist/attorney Maurice Thompson that explores first-hand the sewers many youth call home below.

Majority of Young Republicans Support Marriage Equality

Here's some good news for hump day. A new poll from the Pew Research Center found the majority of young Republicans or Republican-leaning respondents--61 percent of those ages 18-29 to be exact--supported marriage rights for same-sex couples, with just 35 percent opposed.

The support goes beyond marriage equality. Only 18 percent of Republicans age 18-29 viewed the prospect of more gay and lesbian couples raising children as bad for society; 26 percent said it was a positive development while 56 percent said it didn't make a difference or they didn't know.

As The Advocate notes, "support was markedly lower among older groups of Republicans, at 43 percent in favor among those aged 30-49, 30 percent among those aged 50-64, and 22 percent among those 65 and older. Support averaged out to 39 percent among all age groups."

"Among respondents who identified as Democratic or Democratic-leaning, 77 percent of those aged 18-29 supported marriage equality. Among all age groups, a majority endorsed equal marriage rights: 71 percent of those aged 18-49, 66 percent of those aged 50-64, and 62 percent of those 65 and older, for an average of 69 percent."

'Game of Throne' Actor Kristian Nairn Comes Out

Let the cubs rejoice! Actor Kristian Nairn, known to Game Of Thrones fans and bear aficionados as Hodor, protector of prince Bran Stark, has come out as gay. While Nairn considers his sexuality only a small piece of his identity, he recognizes the effect coming out can have.

"In this day and age, it's important to stand up and be counted . I have and always will stand my ground ... I've never hidden my sexuality from anyone, my whole life in fact, and I've been waiting for someone to ask about it in an interview, [because] it's not something you just blurt out. I've tried to lead the questions a few times, to no avail!"

Nairn will be back as Hodor when Game of Thrones new season premieres on April 6.

WATCH: Andre 3000 As Jimi Hendrix In 'All Is By My Side' Clip

From James Brown to Jimi Hendrix, it looks like every black music icon will get the biopic treatment sooner or later. Andre really disappears into the role in this clip--there isn't a trace of his ATL accent or his usual "cooler than a milkshake in a snowstorm" demeanor. Watch the clip below.

Monday, March 10, 2014

We Do Not Touch The First Ladies

Head over to to check out my recap of Scandal's "We Do Not Touch The First Ladies," which delves a bit deeper into Mellie's hard knock pre-first lady life, along with the general insanity of Olitz, Cyrus and James and Sally Langston. An excerpt:

"In the wake of last fall’s “Everything’s Coming Up Mellie,” there was some concern in online quarters that Mellie’s rape at the hands of Fitz’s cretinous father was, like Mama Pope eating her own wrists, simply done for shock value, and the full impact of it would be swept under the rug. “

'We Do Not Touch The First Ladies,” should put such fears to rest.  A series of flashbacks show the beginning of the end of Mellie and Fitz functioning like a loving couple; A huge fight erupts over Mellie’s new frigidness and her refusal to attend a ceremony honoring Ftiz Sr. Not knowing the truth, Fitz assumes he did something wrong, then lashes out at her when she won’t reveal what’s happened. As with Olivia, Mellie long ago decided the greater good—in this case being her husband’s political career—was more important than any personal pain or cost she’d have to pay. What she (or Liv for that matter) didn’t anticipate was how it would destroy her  life, breaking down she and Fitz’s marriage until it became the bitter, hollow shell it is now."

Read the rest HERE.

Monday Man Candy

Friday, March 7, 2014

Food For Thought: Maya Angelou

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

New Jersey Teen Sues Parents For Child Support

Chile, this sounds like an extended deleted scene from GIRLS. Though I'd argue that even Hannah has more sense than this. New Jersey teen Rachael Canning lost a lawsuit requesting her parents pay her child support after she moved out (well, she says she was kicked out) of their home. However, she is still hoping the judge will force her parents to pay for her college education.

Because you know, applying for student loans or scholarships or picking a cheaper college--or maybe reconciling with your parents instead of dragging them into court--is too much like common sense.

I think Claire Huxtable best sums up my feelings about Ms. Canning.

Florida Man Trying To Recruit New KKK Members

Unbelievable. A Florida man who identifies himself only as "Mr. Hayes" is flying a red KKK flag above his home in an effort to recruit new members because it's "what this country is all about--freedom of speech." Hayes, who opposes such delusional catastrophes like white families producing fewer children, argues some may misinterpret his beliefs.

"We don't go around committing hate crimes," he said. "We don't beat up on f--gots or black people or burn crosses or any of that nonsense." The noose on his front yard indicates nothing to him. And, Hayes adds, the response has been generally "positive." "Don't get anybody throwing bottles on my lawn or anything like that," he said. "They toot their horn. They stop. They wave. They take pictures."

2014 and this racist foolishness still festers. Watch a report from Local 10 HERE.

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