Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Random Thought: Forgiveness


If forgiveness is really not for the other person but really for you (i.e so you can let go of the negative feelings you have toward that person and not become consumed by bitterness, rage, hurt etc.) doesn't that make it a selfish act? Yes it could also affect the other person if they are still a part of you life, but if they've long since vanished after inflicting pain upon you, isn't forgiveness purely for your own benefit? Should we change Alexander Pope's saying to "To err is human. To forgive is self-serving?" Discuss.

2 comments:

*BURN MY CANDLE* said...

I have always struggled with this because people say you can free yourself if you forgive them which is true, but only on one side. I see it like this, we are human and we can not FORGET. Remembering always brings on the same feelings over and over. So even though u may have said you forgave them and their miles and miles away, you can not help fighting hard to suppress the feelings you once had.

Basically, things are never really the same most times.

Bama Boi said...

It's a form of resolution to something that you may not be able to resolve by contacting the one who hurt you, so that you can talk it out. I found out that I'm a stickler for closure, and for many things that have occurred so far in my life, I've allowed them to accumulate because I felt I needed to speak my peace to the other party. . .those moments never came.

I spent my time harboring anger, loading negative ammunition just in case I ever ran into someone from my past that I felt may have hurt me. Truth is, the majority of the time those opportunities to unload that anger will never come, so you're stuck toting around past issues that you haven't faced because you won't be satisfied until you get an apology or cuss that person out.

We're human. We can thank of forgiving someone w/o their knowledge self serving, but it's needed if true peace and acceptance is what your desire, which ends up helping others. That access baggage slowly lessens and will allow you to be open again, so that you won't lash out on someone who doesn't deserve it.

It's a way of letting go. I recently wrote a letter to myself expressing my anger towards people that hurt me; however, I also wrote a letter to myself, and I forgave myself more than the people that hurt me. I can't explain it (although I have these long paragraphs, my bad), but I feel better.

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