My latest piece for Butlerway.com has been posted. As you might be able to glean from the title, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" deals with friendships and the sometimes combative (i.e.shade throwing) dynamics that can exist between gay and bisexual men. An excerpt:
"I’m not suggesting friendship between gay or bi men is impossible—I’ve had and continue to have positive, interesting and rewarding relationships with gay friends and acquaintances. But I’d be lying if I said I’ve never noticed that there can be a wariness, a sense of suspicion that our brethren aren’t not brethren at all, but a threat, either to our personal status or to our romantic relationships. In other words, our initial thoughts aren’t “let me to get know this person” or “what’s he all about?” but “what stunt is he trying to pull?” or “is this bitch trying to take my man?” This often translates into jealousy, suspicious side eyes or the throwing of shade.
For many of us, this mentality was born in childhood, a response to the sting of hurtful, homophobic insults hurled at us from bullies or beliefs instilled in us by families and churches. A sharp tongue, a thick skin and a paranoid, hypersensitive mind were the only tools many of us had available in our closets as we struggled to accept ourselves. Problem is, once we came out, we brought our old equipment with us."
Read the rest HERE.