Stephen Colbert couldn't let this week's Supreme Court marriage equality cases without putting his two cents in, warning of a "gay-mageddon (officially my new favorite word) and "a sea of hedonism" if the court strikes down the anti-equality laws.
“I shudder to think that the unnatural coupling of same-sex partners may be put on the same legal footing as my loving relationship with my gun,” he said in his faux-conservative pundit persona on The Colbert Report, then whispered “You complete me” to a handgun.
“Folks, if we lose either of these two cases, it will be the gay-mageddon,” he continued. “America, lost in a sea of hedonism.”
He went on to say that the Bible “clearly says marriage is between one man and that man’s rib,” and with support for marriage equality “surging like Ryan Gosling in my dreams,” that “if our Founding Fathers knew about the advancement of the gay agenda, they’d be spinning in their silk pantaloons.”