You know, I've always wished someone would make a song about this occasion and dag nabbit, it's finally here! Seriously though, I don't if this is tragically funny or just plain 'ol tragic. It's definitely a searing inferno of hot mess (peep the lines about "astonished liberal clergy." Also, doesn't the piano in the beginning sound suspiciously like the hook for Wiz Khalifa's "Black and Yellow?" I'm just sayin'). Watch below.