It's been a while since I've had the misfortune of reading/hearing anything asinine enough to qualify for The Negro Please Award, but after reading Tyrese's remarks on relationship and cheating, I think it's time to bestow this award upon a new recipient. Of course Tyrese was already was on my diss list because of past homophobic incidents involving the humiliation of a male concertgoer and moronic tweets telling male R&B singers to put some bass in their voice. But this just takes the patriarchal cake.
While on Wendy Williams promoting his self-help book TK, the singer basically told his female readers that men will screw you over, so deal with it.
“I don’t have all the answers [for why men cheat], but I can say that most mothers raised their daughters to believe that if you cook, clean, thoroughly take care of your man and go all out for your man, that should keep him home. Unfortunately that’s not the truth, but I will say to my daughter when she gets old and starts dating is, if you end up being cheated on, don’t own the cheat. Don’t make the cheat yours. It’s something in that skirt and those legs and whatever the case may be, and [he] decided to dip off. Does he see the value in his woman at home? Yes, but if he ends up dipping off, that spaghetti couldn’t keep him at home.”
I have to agree with the statement that women (or anyone for that matter) shouldn't take responsiblity for their partner cheating. But of course the same get-out-of-cheating free card doesn't apply to women. When asked if he forgive infidelity from his wife, Tyrese responded:
"No way. See, it’s expected of men to cheat, even though all men don’t cheat. I can’t just generalize and say all men cheat, but it’s expected because it’s a part of our upbringing[...]no listen if your in high school or in college, if one dude has sex with ten different women he is a hero, he’s the champion of the campus. If one woman has sex with ten different guys, they’re all kind of things in the book right?[…]Its just a part of what instilled in us growing up.”
Me thinks someone's watched Ray a few too many times. Not every woman is B (and even she read Ray and threatened to leave with the kids at the end). This attitude does a disservice to men and women. First of all, all men don't cheat. But following this logic, men are just hapless victims of biology and tradition, doomed to dip their nether regions into any pair of open legs they come across. "Oh I love my wife/girl, but, oh no, there's a chick in a tight skirt in front of me. MUST. POP. HER. CHERRY!" And men who already have doggish inclinations will have the perfect excuse for their behavior. While I agree that most men are raised with this attitude, that doesn't make the behavior that manifests because of it right. Tradition is not synonmyous with morality.
Women on the other hand, will have to deal with a "Ho-until-proven-otherwise" attitude, because the minute she cheats or has more than three or four sexual partners, she automatically becomes no better than a backalley prostitute in the eyes of men like Tyrese. It's the classic double standard: men are allowed to "sow their oats," but women are expected to not so much as touch a vibrator until the white knight (or heavily muscled light-skinned man--I see you Ms. Perry) that pastor has promised them will come finally shows up (and he may still cheat, if Tyrese is correct).
But then again I don't know why I'm surprised: I've witnessed plenty of guys who play their girlfriends like Atari, but declare all out war if she's even suspected of creeping. Don't get me wrong. Cheating is cheating (although every couple's idea of what constitues cheating varies). It doesn't matter who does it, it still sucks. But this idea that women are just supposed to dismiss indiscretion under the guise of "letting a man be a man" is just bullshit. Watch the tomfoolery below.