Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Bebe's Kids (Why I Don't Want No Crumbsnatchers!)


Think back. Way back. Back to the beginning of this blog(if you were reading it back then lol:). In one of my first posts I made a passing comment about how I didn't want children, so now let me elaborate.

I desire lots of things out of life--a challenging and exciting career, a nice home, to have great friendships/relationships,to help others, to be financially comfortable--but having children isn't one of them. Growing up some of my friends (gay or straight) would always talk about having kids, wanting to be a dad so they can pass on their name, "spread their seed" etc. But I've never had even the slightest twinge to procreate/adopt, and haven't been afraid to say so. The thought of dealing with: changing diapers, teething, being woken up in the middle of night, teenage angst (it was hard enough dealing with my own, lol) does not appeal to me. Now if I could fast forward to the kids being out of the house and having their own, then I'd loooove to be a dad. 'Cause I love kids in small doses (i.e. if they 're someone else's.)

This stance has caused me to pegged as selfish by the aforementioned friends(granted this was years ago, so things and subsequently, opinions may have change since then.) Selfish? So me making the mature, honest decision not to have children I know I would not want is selfish, but popping out babies just because it's what I should be doing is responsible? Ummmm no. I mean if you think about it, having children when you truly don't want any is inevitably going result in some undeserved resentment towards that child, who did not ask to be brought into the world. If more people really thought it out and decided for themselves whether they really wanted to be a parent, there'd probably be a lot less foster kids, abused and abandoned children in the world. Which is what makes those who want to stop gay couples from adopting look so ridiculous. But I digress.

Honestly, I think a lot of people feel this way, but are too afraid to fight the pressure from family, friends, society, church(trust me, pastors practically piss themselves when a young couple with children walks through the door). There's no clearer evidence of this then at the checkout line at any grocery store (but I'll use Wally World as an example since I work there:). Not a day goes by that someone with kids tells me "Don't have any kids." And they're probably only half-joking. There's also the single mom with kids acting a fool, giving me the look of fuck, why didn't I use a condom! Or guys with their wives and kids with a look of absolute misery, like they'd sell their soul in a second to trade places with me.

Of course this is not true of everyone. Some people really love and want to be parents, and are great at it. But I'm not one of those people. That may change someday, but for now, I can't see myself being anyone's daddy. Besides, I can barely take of myself right now, let alone a baby lol!

1 comment:

ToddyEnglish said...

All I have to say is WORD!
To this day people look at me like I'm crazy because I don't want any damn kids...ironically, the worst about it are the GAYS! (lol)
Hell, I think the greatest thing about being a gay is that I'll NEVER get pregnant...EVER (if it does happen I want my interview with Oprah about the first REAL man to get pregnant). Now I see all these girls jumping through these elaborate hoops to make babies (using turkey basters on lesbians; adopting from egypt; and etc etc) LOL. I say, "Chile, I ain't got no uterus so it wasn't meant to be."
Don't get me wrong I do like children. I'm actually a big grown child anyway...BUT, I can only deal with them for five minutes before I want them to go somewhere. Hell, I even put my cat in his own bedroom at night because I don't want him waking me up.
Furthermore, the only reason I don't go into the field of education is because there are kids involved...Which is about 99% of the reason you should be a teacher...LOL.
I used to want kids; but I realized it was because that is what other people wanted for me. The decision to be child free is mine and it is perfectly mature if you ask me. What is worse...having children that you don't want or admitting that you don't want any and don't bring them into the world?

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