I turned the big 2-8 today. Hard to believe I'm knocking on thirty's door. Well maybe not knocking--right now I'd say it's a light, polite tap. Like someone golf-clapping with their fist. Anyway, if you've been reading this blog over the last six years, you've likely come across more than a few personal posts of my various struggles, being it coming out, dealing with my family or friendships, or leaving the religion of my childhood behind.
At various points today, like when I lay beside my boyfriend in bed, or visited my parents, who have come a ways in embracing my sexuality and acknowledging my relationship (while I've also learned to let down some of my own walls), I thought back to who I was and what my life was like eight to ten years ago. Granted, I never had to worry about necessities like food or clothes or a roof over my head. But to quote Mary J. and Rose Royce, I was going down. It was all about emotional survival, and keeping everyone at arm's length because if they knew the truth, the world, or at least mine, would end. Dramatic much? Perhaps, but the pain was real. And today, I can honestly say I'm a much happier, emotionally stable person than the 18-year-old who was terrified of being himself, or even the 21-year-old who started this blog on a whim.
Things not perfect, and they never will be perfect. But all in all, yours truly is feeling pretty damn good about life and the direction mine is heading in. I feel like I'm growing up. I feel like a grown up. So cheers to moi on this my date of birth!
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