Rants and Raves: Reality Shows

It all started with "Flavor of Love." Which begat "Flavor of Love 2." Which then begat "Flavor of Love 3." Ever since then, VH-1 and MTV have conspired to continually rape our eyes and souls with never-ending attempts to recreate the success of a house full of fame-hungry chicks (or dudes or both) wanting to find 'love' with a celebrity.

From Flavor's success unholy remakes such as "Rock of Love 1 & 2," "I Love New York," "A Shot At Love," "A Double Shot At Love," "That's Amore," and "Real Chance At Love" have spawned and unleashed a whole new crop of wannabe Myspace celebrities, reality stars and the ones who worship and just want to "love" them while getting their fifteen minutes of spotlight. Oh and let's not forget "I Love Money," a non-stop celebration of greed, selfishness and backstabbing.

And now VH-1 has decided to torture us further by Ray-J (yes Brandy's brotha!) his own show called "For the Love of Ray J."

Am I really supposed to believe that this man-slut, who's bragged about banging Kim Kardashian, Lil' Kim, Superhead and Whitney Houston, really wants to settle down and find a woman? Puh-lease. Do the producers really think we're that stupid as viewers? We're supposed to think Mr. Sexy Can I wants to be a one woman man?

If Ray-J really wants respect as an artist (and I use that term graciously), then why not make a show about your creative process, about um I don't know...YOUR MUSIC! Take us through how you work in the studio, how you write a song. Something. Maybe then people might actually take you seriously. At least those of us who don't wear training bras. But I digress.

Notice that I've only singled out certain reality shows. Why you ask? Because I don't think all reality TV sucks. The Real World, the grandaddy of them all, was great in showing the diverse lives of young people, even though it lost its way down the line (but seems to have found it's way back this season). In addition shows like True Life, Made and Charm School (yes I know it has its trashy moments, but still) actually seek show a true slice of reality or show how people try to better themselves and step out of their comfort zones.

But "finding love" shows are the epitome of fakery. First of all, why all the false pretenses? We're all adults. We know that you're really an aspiring actress/singer/model/whatever-the-hell-I-need-to-be-to-be-famous. So why put out all this crap that you really just there because you care about this person who you know absolutely NOTHING about? Just be real and say "I'm here for the cameras."

That's goes for the celebs in question too. Do you honestly think you'll find a deep, long-lasting, loving relationship by broadcasting your search on national television and challenging a house full of strangers to play striptease games, eat animal testicles and take part in a host of other unspeakable acts to prove their love to you?

All this time spent chasing fame and reviving careers could've been spent playing actual MUSIC VIDEOS, or at least shows having at least an inkling to do with music. There are plently of great artists that we're probably missing out on because Bret Michaels or two bi twins need to find someone new to shack up with. And don't even get me started on the black plague of nothingness that is "The Hills." Wanna watch a show where nothing happens? One word: Seinfield.

I don't expect MTV or VH-1 to go back to playing videos all day. Thanks to Youtube that ship has sailed. But at least throw in music shows or scripted series (actors...that's a novel idea) in the midst of the reality blitz. I guess the only consolation is that I got a chance to discover the dual loveliness that is Buddha and Punk.