Every gay man remembers his first diva. The first female artist he sang along to on the radio, the one whose dance routines you memorized and the one you would defend to the death, no matter how much she may have fallen off. For me that person was ol' Nippy herself: Whitney Houston. Whether it was singing "Run To You" in the shower or imitating her jazz hand gestures ('cause you know Whit wasn't much of a dancer) in the mirror, I was big fan.
At this point it's hard to tell if she'll EVER come back. Her album's supposedly been "in the works" for over a year, if that song she did with Akon is any indication, it won't be the music her fans are hoping for. Now I'm not one of those who thinks Whitney's gonna come back sounding like it's 1991. Age and drugs have obviously had an affect. But doing a song with Akon. Whitney, gwarl, just don't.
One of my favorite bloggers, Clay Cane, hilariously sums up what it would take for full Whitney revival:
Also, Whitney needs to go on the Mama Oprah Show, not Diane Sawyer, Larry King, or Babs Walters — it has got to be Mama. Sit on America's favorite couch, grab Mama Oprah's hand, adjust the wig and let the tears storm! Let it all out, "I was an addict!”, "I was smoking crack!”, “Bobby Brown beat me!", “I should’ve been at the Legends Ball!” Whitney can lay her head in Mama Oprah’s bosom as she tells us the gritty stories of rolling around in a drug-induced comma, smelling like Malt Liquor and Bobby Brown's third sexual partner of the night.
Now, if Whitney really wants to rock-in the five million album sales range she will let out violent, racking sobs and say, “I was a neglectful mother.” Sit Bobbi Kristina on Oprah’s coach (hell, they did it for that awful Diane Sawyer interview!) and have Bobbi tell her story.If Whitney wants to go diamond (ten million plus) in the last segment there should be a reunion with her own mother, Cissy Houston. Mama Oprah will have a tear in her left eye as she says, "I was trying to reach you through prayer. But, now, you telling your story will save so many lives. Bravo Whit-ney Houstoooooooooon!"
White women in the audience will bawl!Black women will shake their fists at an angry sky at Bobby Brown!Women across the world will love her!Drag queens will pull out their vintage Whitney wigs!Record sales will skyrocket!This is the only way I believe Whitney could have a comeback. Otherwise, we will get a string of plastic interviews, weak vocal performances, a boring album and nail in the coffin of Whitney’s career. Clive, are you reading?
No much matter how much Bobby, blunts or baggies of coke (show me the receipts lol:) may have damaged her voice/reputation, Whitney Houston was/is one of the most amazing vocalists in pop music history. Here are some reminders in case you forgot:
Yeah I know she looks like a big string bean lol, but Whitney tears this song up.
At this point it's hard to tell if she'll EVER come back. Her album's supposedly been "in the works" for over a year, if that song she did with Akon is any indication, it won't be the music her fans are hoping for. Now I'm not one of those who thinks Whitney's gonna come back sounding like it's 1991. Age and drugs have obviously had an affect. But doing a song with Akon. Whitney, gwarl, just don't.
One of my favorite bloggers, Clay Cane, hilariously sums up what it would take for full Whitney revival:
Also, Whitney needs to go on the Mama Oprah Show, not Diane Sawyer, Larry King, or Babs Walters — it has got to be Mama. Sit on America's favorite couch, grab Mama Oprah's hand, adjust the wig and let the tears storm! Let it all out, "I was an addict!”, "I was smoking crack!”, “Bobby Brown beat me!", “I should’ve been at the Legends Ball!” Whitney can lay her head in Mama Oprah’s bosom as she tells us the gritty stories of rolling around in a drug-induced comma, smelling like Malt Liquor and Bobby Brown's third sexual partner of the night.
Now, if Whitney really wants to rock-in the five million album sales range she will let out violent, racking sobs and say, “I was a neglectful mother.” Sit Bobbi Kristina on Oprah’s coach (hell, they did it for that awful Diane Sawyer interview!) and have Bobbi tell her story.If Whitney wants to go diamond (ten million plus) in the last segment there should be a reunion with her own mother, Cissy Houston. Mama Oprah will have a tear in her left eye as she says, "I was trying to reach you through prayer. But, now, you telling your story will save so many lives. Bravo Whit-ney Houstoooooooooon!"
White women in the audience will bawl!Black women will shake their fists at an angry sky at Bobby Brown!Women across the world will love her!Drag queens will pull out their vintage Whitney wigs!Record sales will skyrocket!This is the only way I believe Whitney could have a comeback. Otherwise, we will get a string of plastic interviews, weak vocal performances, a boring album and nail in the coffin of Whitney’s career. Clive, are you reading?
No much matter how much Bobby, blunts or baggies of coke (show me the receipts lol:) may have damaged her voice/reputation, Whitney Houston was/is one of the most amazing vocalists in pop music history. Here are some reminders in case you forgot:
Yeah I know she looks like a big string bean lol, but Whitney tears this song up.
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